1- D
2- A
c.)

Dear LJ Genie-

Please come and help me, your my only most convenient hope. 

The below picture is a simple loan comparison sheet from Excel:



The highlighted fields "Down Payment," and "Down Payment Percentages" are dependent upon one another.  Without reinventing the wheel, how can I make it such that if I put "36,000" in the down payment, I get a down payment percentage to be "20"  while allowing me to modify the % box (i.e. if I have 19 and goose it up to 20, it changes the other box, automatically. 

A simpler way is how do I allow both boxes to be editable, AND modify the value in the other box?  What I'm doing now, is not horrible, but if I send this out to Realtors, it'll be a slick 'n' useful tool.
 
~Chris

1.) Friday:  Saw the Wedding Singer with JLO and the "sexiest man alive."  Wow.  What a....spectacular movie.  I've never simultaneously been bored to tears while having my intellect insulted.  Wow.  What a country, what a question.  Did not work out. 

2.) Saturday.  Got some office type work done (oh, if you're a Realtor, and if I have your e-mail?  Heh.  You're back to eating out of my hand.)  Today?  Phone calls, prospecting (oh, and to the loan officer that doesn't have time to prospect because they get all of these referrals?).  Then we went to Detroit to visit with Ben and Becky--my BIL and SIL.  They're moving to the Seattle Area w/reasonable jobs (a good choice, particularly if you live in Detroit & have unreasonable jobs).  They have a Diesel Jetta that gets 40 mpg.  (Why does 'Italian leather sofa' come inappropriately to my head??).  I think that  I had the hamburger to end all hamburgers, which is to say, that I was at the Red Coat Tavern and had some piedmontese beef--about a pound of it.  I don't think I will ever eat another burger, because I no longer need to.  I can't fathom a better tasting burger, and so I won't.  It wasn't me that bitched about no changing table, in that review, either.  My attitude?  If you're eating out, and the even tolerate the baby at an adult restaraunt, they're doing you a favor.  I did have the worst beer that I've ever had.  Belgian Wheat Ale is going to go on my "do not use," list when it comes to beers.

About B&B?  'They're inspiring*, and I'm lucky to know them (and I'm no polyester bride).   They up and decided to move west.  Shortly after H and I were married, we bought some real estate without considering the ramifications.  Planted us in Columbus.  We're down to our Condo now, and we'll sell that in a HEARTBEAT if it gives us the means to move west.  I'm willing to subordinate more to get that done than Heather is, and that caused some friction in the car.  Namely, H is afraid to get rid of a condo because the prices in Oregon/Washington/Etc are 2.216 times what they are in Cowlumbus.  I say, there's a reason for that and would like to get to an area that population trends FAVOR in lieu of the 'best city in the rustbelt.'  Even if prices dip out there, not the end of the world**

3.) Sunday.  The drive home is never as fun.  We went to IKEA first, and bought 80 bucks worth of crap that we'll put together and eventually pitch.  We threw a football around, and injested more red meat, in the form of Sausages.  I had no beer.  No beer and Brats is kind of stupid.  Anyway, it was a come down from the Piedmontese beef that I'd had the night before. 

4.) Today.  Answered the bell, decided to run, and am about to.  Wanted to record some of my thoughts.  I'm absolutely determined NOT to be in columbus in a few years.  H wants to go to grad school, and she's got some prerequisites, as she went to Bowling Green for undergrad. BG is not a good place.

That's it for now.

Blog list:

-Write about moving
-Write about giving up the tenacity with which I hold to terrible ideas.
-Write about a mortgage guy vs. a loan pro.***

Maybe more if I think about it, but I'm off to my run.  I might come back and write an entry in 40 minutes  or so.  I stink, mostly because I skipped a shower.













*this was somewhat of a seminal event in my life.  I want nothing to do with F&*(ing Cow-lumbus, and I'm going to do something about it.  This isn't a case of GIGS, it's the truth.  I've waned to bust out off this town for a whle.  I'll do it sooner than you think.

**I know, the real estate guys sound eerily like he stock guys from 1992-1999.  "it'll never go down, it's a new economy."  Nah.  Good and bad deals can be had all the time.
***The basic gist is service and volume, and either path is fine.

A: On Watching Annie Hall

Thanks to the cinemaphiles on my FL--and the half dozen reviews of "Match Point", I watched Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" today.  Kind of a smart alleck fantasy, shot beautifully with an absolutely daunting and frenetic pace  Heather and I both had a lot of laughs, and Woody Allen was narcissistic, but in a self aware kind of way. He was self effacing, endearing, entertaining, clever, and fun.  The strength of a great movie is the fact that it invokes stories that you want to share with the characters, it shakes loose some part of your consciousness and connects with the memory of things that are right and that are true.  I am not a 5'6 135# dude, never will be.  But, despite that I felt more alike than different. 

I've enjoyed other movies, but this was something that I couldn't turn away from.  Intense. Utterly compelling.  Diane Keaton? So nice, charming, ravishing. I got done with the movie 20 minutes ago, and I'm left without much to say.

2.) Email Marketing works.
Right now, I'm closing several loans off of an email I did to a list of Realtors only once a few months ago.  Like in April.  I've made $5500 a month off of this one email I sent then.  It sounds crazy, but it's true.  I've had 5 closings off of that, each representing more than $3500 in fee income; I've got another 3 set in stone with the same fee.  The game has been won.  I wasn't using any kind of intense sophistication, just a basic letter.  And if I repeated it every week, instead of once or twice, I'd probably be at $20k a month off of that.

And it sounds like spam, doesn't it?  "I send one email a day, and bam."

Ha.

III.)  Realtors Suck.

I so used to be one.  I like to think I was different, but not so much, not really.  There isn't a realtor around that wouldn't sell their clients up the river for an extra hundred bucks.  Even 'reputable,' ones are shit, man.  I know.  This week:

--> One Realtor was talking a client earning $33k into a 175k house.  The client had bad credit and had to pay 11% on her mortgage.  Interest only.  This is a somone making 2900 a month (gross) paying out 1700 a month PITI.  No money is left over.  $1200?  Come on.  I had an approved loan, but STILL bull. 

---> Another Realtor calls me.  "Chris, you gotta help get this house closed."  Why?  Well, see, it was in contract, she told the buyers to close on their new house.  WITHOUT VERIFYING THAT THERE WAS ANY KIND OF PRE APPROVAL ON THE EXISTING HOUSE.  WITHOUT SEEING CREDIT.  That deal fell apart at the last minute, and the same chick suggests to me (and I have it on tape) that I pretend that the BUYER of this house, who's buying it as an investment, is "owner occupying" the new house.  They're gonna generate a lease for their primary. 

Fraud! (And she's got a good reputation!)  Scum.

---> A third Realtor has FRIENDS of hers.  They can afford a 90,000 house.  Barely.  What does she do?  Well, of course, she sells them a $120,000 house.  She weasels her way into a commission (these kids KNEW the seller of this house, didn't need her).  She puts pressure on me to get them special financing.  Blows debt ratios out of the water.  And I say, hey, this is above what they can afford.  "We might want to work with a loan officer that's not so judgemental."

---> Yet another Realtor suggests that we put a $140k house in contract for $168 and have the sellers write off the $28k balance so it's a 80% loan.  "This is fraud."  "it can't be fraud, I've been doing it for years, we just need an appraisal to sign off on it.

Oh, it's a slab home in Columbus Public Schools.  Surrounded by $85k dogshit..  Worth 115.

---> A fifth Realtor refers a client to me.  Said client is buying and refinancing 6 homes.  Great, right? Heh.  Here's the kicker, kids: 1 client.  ALL homes will be owner occupied.  "Well, all you have to do is intend to occupy them at closing," it's explained to me, like I'm 5.

Never before has an industry--excepting lawyers--had an inflated sense of worth.  Never before has an industry been more into 'ethics,' and morally bankrupt.  Friends, we make fortunes, and we must be the stewards and guardians of our clients.  We must give them advice that isn't biased, and service that's focused on them, and not getting another 1k rip off of our clients.  Relationships, not transactions.  Anyway, a rant.  It's pervasive, and it's a weird industry, and I'm glad I'm gone.


****.) I lose $12,000 a year because I'm not fit.

For as heavy as I am, I look decent, but I see unflattering pictures of my neckless self, and I think ugh.  I gotta fix it, for real, yo.  And it's time for me to do it and stop talking about it.  However, I've been entrenched in a year long financial funk, and it's been about as much fun as having 'roids.  That background stress adds up, and it's all my fault, and blah. 

88 working days left.  Gotta fix the financial funk and then get rid of my chins.  Or get rid of my chins to release the FF.

Man, lots to do.  260 pounds is a TON of weight.  Being less attractive than possible is reason enough for people to not use me.

More on this stuff later.
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Entries I am working on/intend to write:

1.) How Sarcasm doesn't benefit me.
2.) entering into Jack's orbit.
3.) 5 things that H does perfectly. 

I'd say stuff about Iran and Israel, and the recent London stuff, but I'm not qualified.  I have hunches (like Iran is gonna nuke Israel soon), theories (like there wasn't a plot to get the planes, but the power brokers wanna stay in power, so they amped up the fear), suppositions (that western civ is in grave danger, and Sam H was right.

It's midnight.  I need to go to bed, and I really need to wake up at 5 tomorrow to hit the gym.  Wish me luck there. 

God.  Lots to do.  I'm overwhelmed right now.

Second interview:

Good to see you, welcome back.  This interview is going to be a little different than our first interview.  WE want to see how you act in a selling situation.  We’re going to give you a few minutes of training every day, but the gist of what we’re trying to accomplish here is to figure out how you best sell.  Mike is here, and  we’re going to do a little bit of role playing together to go through a selling script. 

This might seem a little “out of the box” but it’s not practical to spend as much time as we need to in order to determine how you sell, so we’ve got these exercises to see what you do in different situations.  Any response is okay, period.  We’re just trying to get a feel for it, and after this little time we spend together, Mike and I will talk, and determine if we’re going to put together a fit for working here.  This part of the process should take about 20-25 minutes.

Ask any questions that you need to ask.

1.) Pretend that someone NEEDS TO BUY a car.  Their current car is broken down, they need a car.  How do you talk to them?

2.) Another person comes in with a worn out car, but it still can obviously go.  How do you sell them?

3.) A third person comes in looking for performance. 

4.) A forth person wants room for their kids.  How do you sell them?

5.) (Good)  Let’s say that the person that you just sold a car to calls a month later, and complains that the “Check engine light is on,” and they are really upset.  You’re the only one there, and you’ve got a really important appointment in ten minutes with the president of a company that can buy ten cars from you.
Note: we're looking to ensure that the candidate is first and foremost respectful.  It doesn't matter what the answer is, but it does matter that they are respectful when dealing with both the past and present customer.  Ideally, they'd reschedule past customer, and move on to new one.

-What do you want to the company to do in that situation?
-What does good service mean?

6.) Someone is on the fence about a car—after a test drive you could tell he liked it, it fits under his budget, but he wants to sleep on it.  What do you say?

7.)  Another Roleplay.  Pretend you’ve just wrapped up a good sale.  How do you go about asking them to refer their friends and family.

8.)  You happen to catch customers of yours walking out of the finance department, they see you, and they say, “I’m so sorry, but we have to cancel.”  What do you say to them?

Good good.  We're moving on to test your computer skills now.

NEXT:

We’re going to test some of your basic computer skills.  We want to get a feel for where you really are.  I’m going to bring you over to my laptop to see what you can actually do.  It’s not expected that you’ll be anywhere near perfect in this area, I just want to see what your skills are.

(Laptop will be on, ready to start.) 

1.) Find Microsoft Word.
2.) Get to YAHOO.COM
3.) Find my favorites page.
4.) Open Up Excel
5.) Tell me who won the RED SOX game yesterday.
6.) Add some columns in Excel
7.) Can you find the program called CALYX POINT on my computer?
8.) Can you get between fields by using the TAB key in any program?  Show me.

If we want them:

It seems that your skills measure up—we’re glad that you came in today.  I personally am ready to offer you a job, and I think that Mike will feel the same way.  If we can work out a reasonable compensation plan, is there any reason why you can’t accept our invitation to join us?   (Are you offering me a job?)  Probably, but we do need to complete a background check and check some references and verify the accuracy of the data on your resume.

If we don’t:

Well, thanks for coming in—as you learned, you weren’t expected to get a job offer today.  We’re going to be continuing interviews with all the candidates—as you can see we don’t have a ton of room.   I am glad I got to know you, and I will call you after I have the usual conversation with Mike.

First interview, second draft.  We need to pare the first interview questions down to 15 + interview, but this is okay.

I've added to the first interview process a bit of a 'preamble.'  This is going to be something that sets the prospect's mind at ease, and allows us to share what I want to share with them.  That is to say, that I want to ensure that they know that there are no "wrong" answers.

First interview:

Thanks for coming in today.   We’ll get started right away.  Can I offer you some water? 

I’ll start by giving you a little history of our company, and explain what we’re looking for.  We have a two interview process, before you’re going to get an offer, and we want to get to know you a little bit.  We know that as long as you’re willing to learn, and not afraid to work, you can be successful here.  There aren’t any wrong answers, as long as they are CLEAR answers.  We’re not quizzing you, but please give us a sincere answer.  You probably want me to tell you if I fee our little operation is not a good fit for you, right?

If you’re going to be asked to join us, we want to make sure that we can give you the best chance to succeed, and having answers that reflect who you are is going to be more important than having the magic word for me.  I know that many different types can succeed in this business. 

Before we get started, let me ask one question: I do a fair amount of networking, and if I know that there’s a better fit at a different company, do you mind if I share your contact information with them?

Great, ____________. 
(start)
5 questions/opportunities regarding resume, specifically the companies.

You are a ________________.  Describe that.
Why would someone want to work there, why would someone want to leave?

Et cetera.

What we’re looking for is a positive attitude and someone that is not a victim. IF they have a litany of complaints, we need to keep an eye on that. 

First Interview Questions

(Resume Five)

1.) How much do you know about the mortgage industry?
2.) How much would your ideal work week be?
3.) How much independence do you generally like to have?
4.) What personal—and business goals do you have for yourself?
5.) What would your ideal income be?

6.) Have you ever worked for a small company?
7.) What do you do when there’s a contentious situation?
8.) Have you ever had a mortgage?
9.) What does it mean to work hard? 
10.) What are your favorite sales techniques?

11.) How much time do you take to learn about doing your work better?
12.) What are your hobbies?
13.) How big is your network?
i. How many groups to you belong to?
ii. What kinds of things do you do to continue to meet people?
14.) What are things that you would do to expand it?
15.) What are the last books you’ve read, or tapes you’ve listened to?

16.) What do you need to learn about the job to make a decision to move forward?
17.) What important qualities are you looking for in a company?
18.) How can I motivate you?
19.) Is the opportunity to work with a small company something that you’re looking forward to?
20.) How interested are you in the next job?

We try to cover everything, but do  you have any questions?

IF A.) Probably not going to hire/we need to know more about them:
Well, I thank you for coming in today.  The next step is for us to consider the candidates that we’re working with to see who would be the best fit.  I am going to be in touch via email today to see about scheduling another interview.

If we WANT them:  I think that we’d like to complete the process with you.  What we’re going to do is try and bring you in (today + 3 business days) at 3pm.  In the mean time, we’re going to send you a self-rating test.  When you answer it, realize that very few categories should be a ten.  Donald Trump might be a ten in Deal Making, I would consider myself a 5-6.  You can have a lot of 7’s and 8’s but reserve the tens for categories where you’re truly exceptional.  Answer the other questions as honestly as you can as well, and you can just either put it in the word document, fax it back to us, or whatever you’d like to do.    I am very glad we brought you in. 

The second interview will be unusual, we're going to do some role playing, and we're going to see how adaptable and flexible you are to different situations.  Basically, we're going to try to get a picture of your sales and service style. 

[[[hooray]]]  I have a phone system that seems to work just fine with my headset.  Now, all I have to do is find my darn cell phone and I'm laughing. 

[[[double hooray]]] we've reorganized the downstairs, and there's more room, it's more livable.  

[[[[hooray x3]]]] live journal abuse let me back up the jounal of genuinechris.  Now, I can delete it, and once 30 days pass, maybe I can reclaim it.

If that fails, I'll be authentichris.

I'm thinking of swtiching to Blogger, as I'm deriving less and less fun out of reading the communities and journals I've sellected.  I could pare my FL down to 8-10 names and be content with that.  I also know I'm not currently providing much compelling or earth shattering commentary.

Anyone want to hang at a park today?  Beautiful, not oppressive day.  614-839-4850.

More coming.

The question is: Was Mel Gibson's Tirade in English, or some long dead language?

One of the things that I need to be doing--at night--is somehow get ready for the next day.  Right now, jacksonjohnson gave areawoman some serious grief last night.  When the alarm went off,, he wakes up.  IT took areawoman till now to get him settled in.  The problem?

Well, I wanted to run today, and my shorts are SOMEWHERE in the room.  But, I can't go find them because it would be cruel to areawoman. 
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Now I'm at work, it's 8:29.  I've got a closing today.  There are 89 working days left this year.  I want to close 64 loans in that time.  I want the office to close 115 loans.  Mike's good for probably 12.  I need to be good for my 89.  I need to be more organized.   One loan almost every day.  I've got 4 ready.  Plus two seconds that are giving me fits. Of my 64 loans, I want them all to be 100% ers. I gotta figure out what to do, and this I'll do.

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Got Itunes off of my computer.  Gee, it stopped crashing.  Gee, 512 mbs is suddenly adequete.  That is an abortion of a program, to quote McEnroe.

 More to come today, vv busy.